Is marriage some kind of a business deal?
October 16 2021 · 4 min read
‘Is marriage some kind of a business deal’?
Why has the dowry system become so popular despite the anti-dowry laws enacted by the government? Why these have not produced the desired results?
The word “dowry” means the resources, money, or material possessions brought by the bride to her husband’s home at the time of the wedding, and this evil system is destroying the lives of many great women.
From a very young age, the girls in our conservative society get used to the phrase “Allah naseeb achay karay” because every individual believes that good luck is the only Important thing a girl needs in life. From her first birthday, the parents start to save penny by penny for her dowry and the practice of marrying the girls at a very young age is due to this dowry system. This act clearly shows gender discrimination and manifests that no matter how competent well educated or talented the girl is, people are only going to prioritize the material possessions that come with the girl at the time of marriage in the form of dowry. Thousands of women have been brutally killed, many of them were beaten to death, majority of them still faced domestic violence, psychological abuse, and encounter acid attacks. Similarly, the victims of dowry are giving up on their lives to get rid of the mental pressure and hopeless situations caused by their in-laws. If we search the web, we find a lot of heart-wrenching stories of girls who were killed for the sake of dowry. Many women in our surroundings suffered torture and humiliation in silence for the sake of their married life and many take it as a predestined suffering but how long will the suffering continue? Aneeba Shehzadi of Daska was poisoned by her husband over the dowry dispute.
25 years old takreem's in-laws compelled her to drink acid, 22years old Madiha was burned with petrol because her dowry didn’t include a motorbike. All these stories show the inhuman face of society and In such circumstances, not only the married women are affected but it is also hurting unmarried girls and their families. The big-budget of the dowry often makes it difficult and burdensome for the bride's parents to pay back the debt who are already struggling to meet their basic requirements. such kinds of systems bring the bleak outcome and it is hurting our Islamic values of sympathy, Providence, and care. Numerous girls especially in Pakistan, Bangladesh, and India have grown old because their parents couldn’t afford the desirable dowry demanded by the groom's family. This dowry system is a shame to our society and it is one of the most prevalent crimes in an Islamic state like Pakistan. Women's rights have been exploited and their worth has been lessening due to this system. Furthermore, it leads girls to earn from unethical ways, they lose their self-respect and worth due to which the increasing conflicts have reached to the summit.
How does the dowry system affect women’s sentiments?
A woman has to go through all the stumbling blocks to save her married life. such systems create great psychological strain on unmarried and married ones as well because even after marriage the in-laws demand more dowry which creates a financial crisis for the girl's family who themselves are not able to afford their livelihood under their limited budget. furthermore, the depression and anxiety caused by mental and physical violence can lead to hospitalization in extreme conditions, and tormenting and torturing the wife can provoke suicidal thoughts and feelings of hopelessness.
How can we reduce dowry?
To abolish the evil system of dowry we must join our hands together so that this negative trend should come to an end. Neither accept dowry nor give dowry in any circumstances. we must work to change the attitude in families and societies at large, Provide opportunities for childhood learning and education, we must offer appropriate support to families and children, and recognize girls and boys both as valuable members of society rather than economic burdens. Educate your daughters to raise voice against violence and tell them that remaining silent is not a solution to their problems. If a girl or woman will be well educated and working then why anybody needs to give dowry? Dowry is not a one-time process. It keeps on continuing after the marriage as well so that’s why it is a firm need to have collaborative efforts to abolish this system which is a curse to our nation.