September 30 2021 · 4 min read
Just an average day and an average chat with your friends. Gathered around a table during lunch, and talking about every random thing under the cloudy sky. Someone mentions love, another mentions relationship.
“I don’t have a relationship!”
You look at the person who spoke, slightly stung, not because of what she has said but more because of how she said it, dismissive and condescending as if the idea disgusts her. You ask her what’s wrong with being in relationship. She shakes her head, cockily smiling, replies “I don’t know” (as if she really doesn’t know) and finishes with a nice, judgmental stare. I don’t know if anyone else has encountered that but I have, numerous times from numerous people.
That day, when I got back to the hostel, multiple questions occupied my brain. Is love real? Are all those passionate poems and love quotes written genuinely from the heart or are they just fantasy of something beyond your reach?
Are human beings capable to experience love as we see in movies or is all of this just a big lie sold to us to make us feel less miserable? Wait, what is true love, and does it even exist? How does love feels like? What does falling for someone really means? How would you know when you are in love?
So, these thoughts made me curious and the series of never-ending questions will haunt me long (ironically). Anyhow, I decided to do my research. Here is what I found out based on my personal experience and those close to me.
Love is really a complicated term, that couldn’t be described in words. It is divine; no piece of writing can perfectly define its essence. I’m in an attempt to simplify love and rejoice its divine complexity.
Is it about being so incredibly weird with another person that you both would never be that weird in front of anyone else?; slow dancing in the kitchen for absolutely no reason, laughing so hard you lose your breath. Well, Love actually is strange, and it’s funny, and it’s something that you don’t even really understand, but would rather not be without.
Falling in love is like giving a person a loaded gun and let them point at your heart, but you trust them not to pull the trigger. Well this was so droll, huh!
One of the best feelings in this world is falling in love. Your face lights up like a bright lantern when you see that special person. Automatically you get that big wide smile on your face. You wake with thoughts of them. You go to bed with thoughts of them. That person is continuously running in your mind. Even thinking about them makes you feel happy. The very thought of them is comforting. Sky is bluer and the grass is greener when you are with them. You find beauty in simple things which you might have not notice earlier. It’s all because you’re in love.
But what is this ‘love at first sight?’ What I image is a man and a woman walking in a street and suddenly looking at each other in the eye. Time stops. All the other people around them become invisible, and it feels like a real-life movie. But, is it really so?
Isn’t this love was based primarily on physical attraction? Basically, what two people are experiencing is lust and not love at first sight. However, through time, this lust can change into something more meaningful and that’s when we can call it ‘love at first sight’.
Love is deep and profound. Love is not physical attraction: yes you could be physically attracted to someone, but love goes beyond that. Love is not money, fame or fortune, or sex: love goes beyond that.
Does deep and profound love sound like something from a fantasy? Well, when a woman genuinely loves a man or a man loves a woman, it's fascinating. You respect each other and you appreciate deeply, you constantly think about it, you want to do the best for them; you want to lift them high and help them achieve the goals they set for themselves in life. You forgive them if they hurt you, you want to be there for them at all times, do not count the wrongs, whatever gives them joy and peace is your greatest concern. When we actually love someone, we look beyond the physical realm.
The need for love in human beings is unique in the sense that we are a social species who require a certain degree of contact with other human beings. Love is real, but it can’t really be defined. You either experience it or not. You either know it’s true love or you don’t. Regardless if you’ve already experienced it or still haven’t, yes, true love exists.